Feeling the feelings

As I feel the feelings
As I stop, breath and listen to the feelings
---- what grips me, what burden me, what ... anything that affects me... any affects
as I stop, I can feel my feelings

And I feel the pain... and I feel the fear and I feel the weight and the burden
There are there... palpable
they have been there all the way
they were there
--- even when I was fleeing, escaping, hiding from them.... in hiding somewhere in braveland - the country where the coward can pretend to be courageous and never scared... because they are too scared and would not face it

Face what?
It is NOT ABOUT FACING YOUR FEARS
IT IS ABOUT FACING YOUR FEELINGS WHEN YOU ARE DAMN SCARED
Feel the pain, the panic, the sense of being at a loss, disappearing, scrambling
Feel the panic
Feel the heavy look - feel the heavy gaze - of yourself to yourself

What is my fear
What are my fears... this or that... some ideas
What is real is....
the sense of being less less less less, ... minus minus minus, losing losing losing ground, losing touch
alone,

NOW, Oh now, here they are... Now ho now I can recognise them
Here they are... darlings, ... dare I?, darlings!! My fears
As I feel my feelings, then they appear,
more perceptible, more domitable
MY FEARS... here you are
Here you were

As the rain stops
the sun sets
As the sun clouds, the rain falls
and cleanse the air, and the valley, and the house, and the room and the heart... and the Hearts

In this game lies my strenghth, my balance
my love, my love
my dove

**************
Facing your fears is meaningless until you can face your feelings
Feel your feelings and you will tenderly embrace your fears
The emotions will pass - as any cloud -
The storm will clean the air
Feelings are like thunder, wind or sunshine
Emotions are like smoke, clouds or shadows
emotions are not real but complex creations
feelings are real

Shall we learn to feel our feelings
as they speak the truth
so may we

Learning and racing

(Quoted from an interesting website listed below)
"In racing, the consistent winners have learned that assembling the most knowledgeable and motivated people is not sufficient. Rather, the key is whether the working group becomes a learning group. The diagnostic ability of the driver–crew chief pair is critical to making the right choices in more than a dozen adjustments on the car. The pit crew, through its elaborate choreography, seeks to save a tenth of a second. Back at the garage, the 20 or more engine builders, chassis builders, test and instrumentation people, and their respective suppliers must collaborate at the idea level regarding design and fabrication as successfully as the pit crew does at the physical level.

The challenge in creating a team learning culture is to harmonize competition and collaboration. Many a highly talented person, fiercely dedicated to winning in competitions, simply cannot collaborate in doing, let alone in colearning by doing. Transforming a person’s values to team winning without suppressing the urge to innovate is key. Personal and group learning must meld into a specific “feel” that permeates the team.

To carry the automobile racing analogy just a little further, consider that an engine uses air and fuel to produce horsepower for the drive wheels, which, barring loss of traction, overcome both inherent inertia and motion-induced drag to maximize the speed of the racecar. Often the fastest car does not win because the engine fails, the tires overheat, or some other weak link becomes overstressed. The winner is the fastest car that finishes. In business, air is ideas, fuel is cash, drive wheels are the products and services that carry value to customers, and traction is the strength of the network of relationships throughout the team. Horsepower feels a lot like enthusiasm, which can overcome both structural inertia and dynamic drag, also known as fear. Enthusiasm, coupled with a learning culture, can even transform negative energy into increased motivation, which leads to superlative results.

Where is the learning? Learning is everywhere and happens every time someone wonders which ideas to pursue, what proportion of profits should be used for what purposes, how to generate enthusiasm, or whether the wheels are spinning because the right relationships do not exist. However, lack of knowledge or integrity—or too much greed—can overstress any one of these factors and create a loser.

Most organizations cannot get a grip on learning. Learning is necessarily multifaceted, but most organizations are filled with linear thinkers (this event causes that result) or scenario thinkers (these related events combine to cause that pattern of results) but few thinkers who consider entire systems (when salespeople overcommit our production, the factory output is actually below full capability). Besides, when joining the race, most organizations believe that business is about generating profit, not about learning."

http://agelesslearner.com/articles/learningbydoing_jring_tc600.html

Emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Social awareness — the ability to sense, understand, and react to others' emotions while comprehending social networks.

(Mixed) models of EI (taken from wiki - see link below and )

The model introduced by Daniel Goleman focuses on EI as a wide array of competencies and skills that drive leadership performance. Goleman's model outlines four main EI constructs:
1- Knowing your emotions - Self-awareness — the ability to read one's emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions.

2-Managing your own emotions & Motivating yourself.- Self-management — involves controlling one's emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

3- Recognising and understanding other people's emotions as well as Managing relationships, ie., managing the emotions of others.
Relationship management — the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.

Goleman includes a set of emotional competencies within each construct of EI. Emotional competencies are not innate talents, but rather learned capabilities that must be worked on and can be developed to achieve outstanding performance. Goleman posits that individuals are born with a general emotional intelligence that determines their potential for learning emotional competencies. Goleman's model of EI has been criticized in the research literature as mere "pop psychology" (Mayer, Roberts, & Barsade, 2008).

Measurement of the Emotional Competencies (Goleman) model
Two measurement tools are based on the Goleman model:
1) The Emotional Competency Inventory (ECI), which was created in 1999 and the Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI), which was created in 2007
2) The Emotional Intelligence Appraisal, which was created in 2001 and which can be taken as a self-report or 360-degree assessment.

EI Competencies as criteria for success at work
Dr Goleman asserted that “The criteria for success at work are changing. We are being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well handle ourselves and each other. This yardstick is increasingly applied in choosing who will be hired and who will not, who will be let go and who retained, who past over and who promoted…”

Goleman’s definition of emotional intelligence proposes four broad domains of EQ which consist of 19 competencies:

Self-Awareness

1. Emotional self-awareness: Reading one's own emotions and recognizing their impact
2. Accurate self-assessment; knowing one's strengths and limits
3. Self-confidence; a sound sense of one's self-worth and capabilities

Self-Management

1. Emotional self-control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control
2. Transparency: Displaying honesty and integrity; trustworthiness
3. Adaptability: Flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles
4. Achievement: The drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence
5. Initiative: Readiness to act and seize opportunities
6. Optimism: Seeing the upside in events

Social Awareness

1. Empathy: Sensing others' emotions, understanding their perspective, and taking active interest in their concerns
2. Organizational awareness: Reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at the organizational level
3. Service: Recognizing and meeting follower, client, or customer needs

Relationship Management

1. Inspirational leadership: Guiding and motivating with a compelling vision
2. Influence: Wielding a range of tactics for persuasion
3. Developing others: Bolstering others' abilities through feedback and guidance
4. Change catalyst: Initiating, managing, and leading in a new direction
5. Conflict management: Resolving disagreements
6. Building bonds: Cultivating and maintaining a web of relationships
7. Teamwork and collaboration: Cooperation and team building

There is general agreement that the factors that Goleman and his colleagues have identified are indeed emerging as a key element of workplace success. This is because the way that most organizations work has changed in the last 20 years. There are now fewer levels of management than there were and management styles tend to be less autocratic. In addition, the move towards more knowledge based, team working and customer focused jobs means that individuals generally have more autonomy, even at fairly low levels within organizations.


taken from:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence
http://www.psychometric-success.com/emotional-intelligence/emotional-intelligence-in-business.htm

Emotional intelligence - a sound enterprise

Emotional intelligence...how should this notion be approached?
Intelligence has long been thought to be the matter of the intelligible, ie the logos. Whereas emotions are derived from the world of passions, ie the pathos.... Schematically, intelligence would be about what I think, emotions about what I feel.

The notion of emotional intelligence seems to dispel the idea that the distinction is clear-cut and straight-forward.

It is not just intelligence on one side, emotions on the other and nothing in-between. Emotional intelligence is telling us about a mix, a bridge between two worlds. Descartes, the French XVII century philosopher, was applying his mind in ways to discover an intelligible world - a world of what we are sure about, as opposed to what is only illusion, superstition or ever-changing.... "Cogito" - the thinking mind - became the angular stone of what defines human being - cogito ergo sum - I think therefore I am.

Towards the end of his life, Descartes was hard-pressed to think and write on the domain of passions, emotions... He too had to deal with this question, whether and how we can either separate or combine thoughts and emotions.

In a simple way, intelligence is what helps us coming up with decision, for which we need to clarify issues, try to understand, share and communicate, using various tools like languages etc...

Emotions are a complex, unclear network of thoughts and feelings... It is important to distinguish between emotions and feelings as emotions are usually expressed... in "body-form": shaking, blushing, smiling, crying, as well as through language... words, signs... Feelings are anchored into every human being without taking any form... they are felt within... in our core.... As such they are felt. They are not perceived by the five senses. Feelings are not about seeing something, hearing or touching... it is an inner-perception. Feelings are just that. They may be triggered by senses or by something we get, some discussion, some ideas coming or passed on to us... Nonetheless feelings will always be of an inner-invisible-intangible-substance: fear, joy, anger, peace, plain satisfaction, plain discomfort...

Emotions will be a result of our feelings... In the same way as light is produced out of electricity, emotions are born out of feelings. You see the light but not the electricity. You see the emotions, but not the feelings. Another way to put it is to look at feelings like fire and emotions like smoke. This analogy highlights the primary aspect of feelings over emotions. It also helps understand the complex nature of emotions: complex in the sense that they are the result of a mix, something equivalent to a combustion, the combination of feelings with thoughts and langage.

These distinctions help us understand the role of emotional intelligence: trying to understand better, to decipher what rules the world of emotions... trace back to the feelings, look at expressing what happens (the mechanisms behind the "combustion"), make sense out what happens, ie allow the intelligence - the meaning, the intention - to emerge in this typically human language.

What does it take to understand the human language being displayed via our emotions and feelings?
What to see through the smoke?
It may be that feelings are not easy to describe. Besides, feeling are states of being, from which actions will follow. Whether I sleep, eat, work, rest, study... many actions are driven by what we see, think and feel.
Whenever we think or see, we also feel. Feelings are there at all time...

Feeling what we feel - becoming aware and conscious about it - is a powerful way to free ourselves from the pain and burden of many heavy emotional states... like stress, fear, worries, or over-excitement, or even intoxication. As we feel our feeling, we take ownership for them and can intelligently, rationally, come back to sound decision making - and it could be simply deciding to stop for a while, to relax or to suspend any action... A French writer - Michel Tournier -  used to say that anger always triggers action, but it is always the wrong action which is being triggered by anger.

Emotional intelligence may be the skill, the art and science of understanding - listening to - what links our feeling to our thoughts and while acknowledging our emotions, in the meantime avoiding the trap of falling into confused emotional states while favoring and fostering true self-expression of what we feel and light-headed, sound, intelligent decision making.

Looking forward - thinking ahead

Taken from "Looking Backward" (1996) last chapter of the Accidental Theorist by Paul Krugman
The world as viewed in 2096 and Five great economic trends in the XXI century

1. Soaring resource prices (superrich will be, more often than not, prime land owners or those with access to mineral)
2. The environment as property (no more free air)
3. The rebirth of the big city (urban density favoring the kind of close, face-to-face interaction that turn out to be essential... the most effective mass-transit system yet devised: the elevator)
4. The devaluation of higher education (many of the jobs that require a college degree today have been eliminated, while many of the rest can, it turns out, be done quite well by an intelligent person whether or not she has studied world literature.... academic credentials will have hardly any monetary value... Harvard has become - as it was in the nineteenth century, more of a social institution than a scholarly one - aplace for the childrne of the wealthy to refine their social graces and make friends with others of the same class.)
5. The celebrity economy (although business gurus are proclaiming the predominance of creativity and innovation over mere routine production, in fact the growing ease with which information is transmitted and reproduced makes it even harder for creators to profit from their creations.... creations must make money indirectly... by promoting sales of something else....)

Krugman is without pity for the stereotyped but too common futuristic views of the coming of an "information economy", mainly producing intangibles, and where the good jobs would go to "symbolic analysts", who "would push icons around on computer screens".

As Krugmans puts it - quoting Marvin Minsky " what people vaguely call common sense is actually more intricate than most of the technical expertise we admire." And Krugman adds:  "it takes common sense to deal  with the physical world - which is why , even at the end of the XX century, there are still no robot plumbers."

Who then wants to think with me and prepare the future of education? You know how to find me :-)

Attributes of servant leadership, a powerful driver to enhance teamwork

Selected text from Wiki on Servant leadership 

Greenleaf , in his classic essay, The Servant as Leader, described the servant-leader in this manner:

"The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.

The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?"

Models of Servant Leadership

Most writers see servant leadership as an underlying philosophy of leadership, demonstrated through specific characteristics and practices. The foundational concepts are found in Greenleaf’s first three major essays, The Servant as Leader, The Institution as Servant, and Trustees as Servants.

Larry Spears, who served for 17 years as the head of the Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership, identified ten characteristic of servant leaders in the writings of Greenleaf. The ten characteristics are 

1. listening, 
2. empathy, 
3. healing, 
4. awareness, 
5. persuasion, 
6. conceptualization, 
7. foresight, 
8. stewardship, 
9. commitment to the growth of others, 
10. and building community. 

Leadership experts such as Bolman, Deal, Covey, Fullan, Sergiovanni, and Heifitz also reference these characteristics as essential components of effective leadership.

The Center for Servant Leadership at the Pastoral Institute in Georgia defines servant leadership as a lifelong journey that includes discovery of one’s self, a desire to serve others, and a commitment to lead. 

Servant-leaders continually strive to be trustworthy, self-aware, humble, caring, visionary, empowering, relational, competent, good stewards, and community builders.

Dr. Kent Keith, author of The Case for Servant Leadership and the current CEO of the Greenleaf Center, states that servant leadership is ethical, practical, and meaningful. He identifies seven key practices of servant leaders: 

1. self-awareness, 
2. listening, 
3. changing the pyramid, 
4. developing your colleagues, 
5. coaching not controlling, 
6. unleashing the energy and intelligence of others, 
7. and foresight. 

James Sipe and Don Frick, in their book The Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership, state that servant-leaders are individuals of character, put people first, are skilled communicators, are compassionate collaborators, use foresight, are systems thinkers, and exercise moral authority.

Unlike leadership approaches with a top-down hierarchical style, servant leadership instead emphasizes collaboration, trust, empathy, and the ethical use of power. At heart, the individual is a servant first, making the conscious decision to lead in order to better serve others, not to increase their own power. The objective is to enhance the growth of individuals in the organization and increase teamwork and personal involvement.

The Quadrants of Human Action

adapted from "First Things First", Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca R. Merrill, Simon and Schuster, New York, 1994, ISBN: 0-684-80203-1 (Pbk).

To understand how to deal with sustainability, we must first understand ourselves and how to direct ourselves in positive directions.

About integrity.... a framework

VALUE 1: Integrity

Responsibility

Taking 100% responsibility                                         claiming vs blaming

Responsibility as a leader: Evoking a response          dialogue and conversation
                                                                                    vs debate, discussion and instructing

Commitment and ownership                                      seeing opportunity
vs feeling obliged and bound

Keeping one’s agreement

Authenticity and honesty                                            presence, commitment and ownership                                                                                  vs mask and persona, blamism and escapism

Emotional honesty                                                      trust and openness
                                                                                    vs fear, dissimulation and escalation

Emotional literacy                                                      I-ness and we-ness (claiming)
vs. i-or-u-ness (blaming)

                                                                                    Trusting our intuition
                                                                                    vs cluttering the mind

Authentic speaking

Speaking from the heart                                             Reaching out
                                                                                    vs breaching out

Assertiveness                                                              Confidence with kindness and truth
                                                                                    vs force and hurt

Curious / resonant listening

Openness to learning                                                  Welcoming feedback
                                                                                    vs shutting down people

                                                                                    Learning from others
                                                                                    vs teaching others

Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks
www.hendricks.com

Do Three Things And The World Changes

An initiative is the first step in a process that determines the future. A revolution is a dramatic change in ideas or practice. We invite you to join the revolution and take the initiative. We invite your participation and contribution to help it sweep the world.
Here are the basic moves that will create the kind of future we want to live in.
They’re based on the thousands of miraculous transformations we’ve seen when
people do these three things:

•Speak honestly, rather than concealing the truth.
•Take healthy responsibility, wonder rather than blaming others.
•Express appreciation, rather than criticizing.

Let’s Come Together And Imagine A New World Into Being

Imagine a world in which everybody tells the truth. Imagine a world in which everybody takes
100% responsibility and nobody ever blames. Imagine close relationships in which you enjoy a constant flow of appreciating and being appreciated.

http://www.hendricks.com/conscious_initiative/index.html

Customer Service in the new world

With my partner and friend Kiran Gulrajani (Co-Evolve), we are both passionate about the new world... It is becoming rather common and buzzy to say... but yes... we are living at a juncture, a special time where a lot of change is taking place and will continue to take place... not just a financial crisis... this is the end of an area... the industrial age has come to age... the way we learn, the way we teach are going to change drastically... how we live too somehow and obviously the way we do business...

Now because things are changing does not mean that the old good becomes bad and the usual bad becomes good. In fact the real old "good" remains... may be the way it is talked about change... or the way we look at it... or the level at which it impacts us... Look how fast information is spreading these days... how fast talent is being spotted during a reality TV show. There is more speed and more scope for impact... What remains is the need to discern and distinguish between the good and the bad, the seed and the chaff...

I asked Kiran: "what are the key dimensions of customer service in the new world"
His reply:
"
1- Getting in the world of the customer - understanding, empathising, appreciating
2- Responding - with clarity and authenticity
3- Learning from the client and his industry and designing creative and co-creative solutions to delight them and their customers
4- Inspiring the client to care for their employees (the internal client) the way they would like them to care for the customer
5- Assertiveness needs to be looked at also... in the sense of being in touch and communicating with the clients"

Feelings and Bucky and the whole Humanity

I am quoting Bucky from the Foreword of Critical Path

"The way only-our-own, individual integrity of being responds spontaneously only to our own exclusive sensing of any given otherness episode is what I mean when I use the word feeling: How do I feel about life? How do I feel about it now? ... and again now? Our feelings often change. What do I feel that I need to do about what I am feeling"

As bucky said: "Exploring, experiencing, feeling, and - to the best of my ability - acting strictly and only on my individual intuition, I became impelled to write this book."

Feelings are the nearest ad purest impulses to our most authentic and selfless acts?

Learning - the risk and joy of learning - the gut to learn... and the curiosity

The only risk with learning is facing the unknown.
How many of us do like facing the unknown?
I spent too much time trying to make up things... thinking I like adventure and going for it... but in reality... escaping the possibility of any real learning...

REAL LEARNINGS: where are you?
Dear ones, shall I learn to love and welcome you?
Sometimes, what we learnt best is to turn our head... towards the other side...
Do you know the story of the good Samaritan? Before he was rescued by the good Samaritan, the injured lying down the sideway after beeing robbed and beaten by some daicoits - this poor man had just been ignored by a priest and another powerful man.... They had turned their head...

What does it take to learn? Be willing to learn
And what does it take to be willing to learn: face reality...
and for that: be at peace with your reality...
It is ok to be scared, it is ok to doubt, to worry...
Now as I am facing those feelings, they lighten up, releasing their grip on me

The risk of learning is the one of facing one's fear... this panic stage I often experienced when things take too fast a turn or when I lose all sense of control... panic... lets enjoy the panic... let's enjoy the butterfly in the stomac... let them be the premises of something great coming up.... the joy of facing reality

THE JOY OF FACING REALITY... of getting one's hands dirty, of being there and now, no matter what,
Being there for the poor man or the angry client
May be scared, may be sorry, may be mute, but be there and happy to be and committed to the best possible outcome. A CAPTAIN IN THE STORM.... and a good laugh... and god laughs
THERE IS IMMENSE JOY IN THE COURAGE IT TAKES TO FACE A STORM

There is a quiet resignation that may the best prevail and the wind blow in the right direction
It is not resignation... it is detachment, while I am there heart, mind and body ready to die while ready to fight to the last minute

READY TO LOSE, HARNESSED TO WIN - THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE

What do we protect ourselves from when we turn our head from learning situations
Why do we cheat in exams?
Why do we say yes 'i understand', when we mean no 'i don't'?
We do not want to lose, lose face to our parents? our teachers?
Sometimes we just learn to "Not care". 'I just don't care' become the excuse
Looking good and avoiding looking bad
Avoiding conflict...
Not standing out

Now ... what about curiosity?
Curiosity pale to conformism
Of course curiosity is a powerful engine, when drivers slow down to watch this accident on the opposite lane of the highway... this even creates trafic jams... no risk of being spotted though...
Now as to asking a controversial question in a group... who dares?
Why dare? why not just ask?

Real learning attitude manifest naivety and a thirst stronger than the desire to look good...
In fact, the authentic thirst for learning look almost always good
Except maybe when it is compulsive or neurotic... and... still... why not?
What's this? What's this ask the 2-year old girl - 20 time in 5 minutes?

Knowing Joo Hock... we need more of it :-)

Every Saturday morning at the Hereen, you can meet Joo Hock and be inspired during the Bucky group session from 8 am to 9.50 am, weekly (unless otherwise advised) at Hair Affair at the Adelphi, 1 Coleman St. If you like to find out more, please send your enquiries to joohock@gmail.com ...

talks, dialogues, videos... about the best the world has to offer... inspiring, cooling, seldome heated but often passionate.... better than coffee

Joo Hock (JooHock)

About Me

Speaker, Trainer, Business owner and Social Entrepreneur, Joo Hock has been championing the Thinking, Philosophy and Ideas of Buckminster Fuller. He is a catalyst, in the Bucky Group’s (the unofficial Alumni of the Money & You Seminar) activities, as a True Learning Organization. A practitioner of the philosophy of the 20th Century Leonardo da Vinci, Dr. R. Buckminster Fuller (the inventor of the Geodesic Dome.), Joo Hock has facilitated various Workshops and Retreats on Innovation, Creativity and Change (based on The Generalized Principles of Universe as uncovered by Bucky) for corporate organizations and the public. Interfacing for the somewhat difficult to comprehend thinking, ideas, and the works of Bucky, JooHock shares from a layman perspective, and his (Joo Hock's)life today demonstrates that living the "principles" as shared by Bucky, has made a difference to his (Joohock's) life and could make a difference to the lives of others. Bucky is, in his opinion the forerunner in the Great Marathon of Humanity, JooHock feels "Learning" should be fun. This blog is also dedicated to his mentor, Dr. R. Buckminster Fuller.

The love potion you made tastes terrible. How will you drink it?
Usually when I'm faced with having to drink a potion of Chinese medicine which is basically a concoction of yukky tasting stuff, I pour it into a wine glass, and say "cheers", or "Yam Seng" to a friend, at the same time downing it in one gulp, follow by a glass of water. Love potion? No problem. "...urgh...burrp.."Interests
Reading Buckminster Fuller
Anthony de Mello
Krishnamurti
Deepak Chopra
Neale Donald Walsch
Charles Handy
Barbara Marx Hubbard Paulo Coelho
Eliyahu M Goldratt
Eckhart Tolle
Margaret Wheatley
Irene Sanders
Hugh Prather
Edward deBono
Tony Robins
Anita Roddick
Fritjof Capra Travelling
Speaking
and conducting Bucky Fun workshops
Favorite Movies
Shawshank Redemption
Tuesday with Morrie
Einstein Big Idea. Conversations with God.
Favorite Music
Inspirational Songs
When You believe
Follow your Heart
Color of the Wind
Songs from the Musicals
Les Miserables
Phantom of the Opera
Favorite Books
Critical Path
Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth
Grunch of Giants
Intuition
Buckminster Fuller on Education
Awareness
Age of Unreason
The Empty Raincoat
The Hungry Spirit
The Elephant and the Flea
and many more

Customer service and Jay Abraham's strategy of Preeminence

A friend of mine organised the first Jay Abraham seminar in China. This was in 2007 in Shenzen. I met Jay there. I do not find anything of what he says revolutionary nor he is a seminal author because a lot of what he shares is well accepted wisdom. Jay Hendricks is sharing somewhat of the same idea in his work Corporate Mystics: true ethics, authentic care, 100% responsibility, integrity are at the core of what makes a business leader a great leader. And these are the foundations to real success. 

Now what I am impressed with Jay Abraham is his commitment to making his clients successful... reading his books, it is all about the little details that can make a difference... So in a way, Jay illustrates well what he believes in... and he is working hard at it... giving seminars, talks etc... 

THE STRATEGY OF PREEMINENCE (taken from a pdf file whose link is below)

"You have to change your philosophical approach and move to what I call a “Strategy of Preeminence,” which is a whole new way of looking at the relationship you have with your marketplace. It’s seeing yourselves, and your company, and everyone in your organization as the ultimate fiduciary, as an advisor, as a trusted, respected, expert advisor. And you have the responsibility and the obligation to counsel those people in what’s in their best interest. To give them the best short and long-term outcome. And when you start advising them with their best interest at heart, you no longer will accept or allow them to buy less than they should… fewer combinations than they should… less quality of products or services than they should… and less frequently than they should.

You’ll never again, take the order just because they’re willing to buy. You will never again be struggling with how to manipulate, what kind of things to say or do. You’ll always be focused on the fact that the more value you add, that is perceived by them, the more success you will have. You will start thinking of your relationship with them all as “clients.” If you talk to them or think of them all as customers, you should change – and I’ll tell you why. In a world that is trying to slam everyone down to commodity and marginalized status, you have to draw a line in the sand and distinguish yourself. And the way to do that is to start thinking of your relationship as an advisor, and the people you deal with as clients.

Look up the word “customer.” And look up the word “client.” “Customer” is defined as, “someone who buys a commodity or a service.” “Client” is defined as, “someone who’s under the care and the protection of another.” You want to move the whole relationship that you have with your “customer” to where they are your “client.” Someone you see as under your care and your protection. Someone whose well being is important to you.

The biggest problem that I observe with companies that I serve, and most companies that I study, is they fall in love with the wrong thing. They want their company to be the fastest growing, the biggest, and the best, the Inc. 100, the Inc. One, Fortune 500. They fall in love with the mega-organization, the worldwide impact.

The way to greatness today is to transfer your ultimate passion away from your product, your service, your company, and instead, fall in love with your client. If they’re at the top of your awareness all the time, and if all you focus on is constantly getting them the very richest, the very best, the most productive, the most profitable, the most enjoyable, the most enriching, the greatest protection in whatever your product or service provides… you will dominate everyone else in your business sector, because they don’t look at it that way. They’re in love with having the biggest company, and as a result, they don’t.

You also have to fall in love with your three tiers of “clients.” The people who pay you and the two tiers of people you pay. You have to fall in love with your team members, and you have to want greatness for them. And you have to know that you are the vehicle to their and their families’ richness and security. And you have to envision the fact that their kids are going to go to college because of you, and lives are going to be enriched because of you. Just as with your clients, you have to see their businesses or their personal lives thrive, their prosperity grow, and their security enhanced. If you can’t visualize that you’re going to lose torque.

A Strategy of Preeminence is truly transforming. It’s the most liberating, the most animating, and it’s the most passionate concept you’ll ever embrace."

http://tumiskangkung.googlepages.com/JA_101.pdf 

Customer Service 101

About Customer service: looking for inspiring views on customer service, I picked up these 8 points from a website (see link below). I will freely add my own comments to it. I am also waiting from Kiran's views on it.

8 Keys to Good Customer Service

"Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it.
It is what the client or customer gets out of it."
PETER DRUCKER

"If you have the keys to good customer service, you have access to minds and hearts of customers. It isn't hard to learn these key principles... the proof of the pudding is in the eating! Talk is cheap as they say.

1. Positive Attitude
"To my customer.
I may not have the answer, but I’ll find it.
I may not have the time, but I’ll make it." (Unknown)

A positive attitude is a 'can do' attitude. It's deciding to do whatever it takes to help the customer, and not hide behind excuses, non-existing policies, other colleagues. I wish I could say that a positive attitude is trainable, but it starts with a natural desire to help people. The goal is to find people with such a desire, and eleminate those who demonstrate a lack of desire. This is the key that unlocks all other keys to good customer service!

2. Keep your Promises (this is part of something even bigger - because it applies not just to our clients but to anyone and anything we are in touch with: it is INTEGRITY)

"Well done is better than well said." (Benjamin Franklin)

If you promise something to your customer, keep that promise. Not keeping a promise to a customer feels like betrayal to customers, and once betrayed they won't trust you again. Adopt a method of keeping track of your promises, and do regular checks on the progress you made on delivering what you promised.

3. Listen to your Customer
"In business you get what you want by giving other people what they want." (Alice MacDougall)

If business is about giving to your customers what they want (so you get what you want), you need to know your customer wants. So whenever you can, ask! Show a genuine interest in your customer and listen to what they have to say. This also means that you'll have to aks subsequent questions to get to the core. And show that you have heared your customer by not making him or her repeat it... yes, even when you changover to a colleague!

4. Delight your Customer
"Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it.
It is what the client or customer gets out of it." (Peter Drucker)

A delighted customer is a customer for life. for this, you have to work hard at making sure that your customer gets the maximum (value) out of your product or service. When they buy it. When they use it. when they read about it. When they search information about it. If you reduce friction at every customer contact, you will delight them!

5. Trust your Customer
"Give trust, and you'll get it double in return." (Kees Kamies)

Many, many businesses shy away from giving good service to customers, because they fear this will just a flurry of scrupulous customers who come to take advantage of their willingness. While there are customers out there that will take advantage of your willingness, there will be so many customers that will come and stay with you, it will not matter! Simply trust your customers: you'll be greatly rewarded.

6. Work as a Team
"None of us is as smart as all of us." (Ken Blanchard)

Make no mistake. Delivering good customer service is a tough, tough job. Customers can ask many questions, and it's unlikely that any one person is able to answer all the questions. Make it a habit to engage the help of others in the company, in order to give the best answers to the customers.

7. Train
"Train, don't strain." (Arthur Lydiard)

Confidence in execution comes from repetition. Other than personal experience, there is no substitute for training for the situations you may encounter in customer service. Setting up a training program is a given!

8. Do it NOW!
"The longer you wait, the harder it is to produce outstanding customer service." (William H. Davidow)

Here's a powerful lesson I learned: if something is important (and I think these keys to good customer service ARE important!), do it now! Don't wait. Do what's important, right away!

These are my 8 keys to good customer service, unlock the door to more great business!

http://www.customerservicepoint.com/keys-to-good-customer-service.html

Facilitation - being in the now

Kiran and myself just facilitated a 1-day session. After the session, Kiran is sharing and reflecting with:

"Actually in the session being in the now, stepping back and inviting everyone to observe together what’s happening .. demonstrating our work.. 100% responsibility, deep listening, authentic speaking, questioning to evoke wonder and silence. Owning. Seeing how this is my mirror.. so seeking to understand.."

What a nice idea? Isn't it in fact - not just a nice idea - something of the essence? the essence of what our job - here - is about. What are we here to facilitate?

Clients do call us and do have aspirations for their own "internal" clients - the participants. It is sometimes about mixing few objectives together... sometimes it is about knowing each other better and bonding, sometimes it is about creating a positive experience, from which participants will not only bond but also feel motivated and may be stronger... Often it is also about dealing with, helping to solve some issues... Other times it may be about focusing on some specific business objectives and enabling participants to achieve these.

Alignment: Now to achieve that, to help participants achieve their objectives, it means that there is alignment between the participants in their teams, with their bosses or co-workers. There also need alignment between participants and trainers... Alignment between people  is about respect, trust, and the ability to communicate and in particular to the ability to agree to disagree, while keeping faith in the objectives and in our ability to achieve them.

Any dysfunction in the team - some could say: any lack of integrity in almost any way - will at some point lead to a lack of alignment and/or to a lesser level of alignment: there may be various groups formed in the organisation and this may slow down, hamper the ability to deal with change, adapt, adopt new ways... there may be mis-trust - silently or up to the extent of defiance.... Of course there are various degrees of dysfunction but it is capital for the organisation to spot these areas which are dysfunctional and to start addressing them...

It is hard to imagine a very effective, high-performing team which is not well aligned: it seems important that participants are aligned - as person: trusting and respecting each other, able to communicate etc...  - but also as the various links and chains of responsibility leading to the big picture. Therefore it must be a continuous balance and tension between aligning ourselves to the organisation's goals and addressing issues that may block or disturb the same process.

It seems to me that what Kiran is highlighting is precisely this. Seldome are the Human Capital consultants, trainers, given the luxury of time in their intervention. Dealing with business goals and issues like motivation, willingness to take responsibility, character building, integrity... may require many and separate interventions but isn't there a way of facilitation which is powerful enough, holistic enough to handle both personal, behavioural aspects together with organisational, business issues and objectives?

"stepping back and inviting everyone to observe together what’s happening .. demonstrating our work.. 100% responsibility, deep listening, authentic speaking, questioning to evoke wonder and silence."

Being in the now: that 's it... the now of any organisation .... dealing with this beautiful situation where anyone's attitude does have a direct impact on the business outcome... the nice dichotomy between individual behaviors and business outcome is convenient to theories because through compartementalisation it is easier to address issues one at a time.... Now, it is very unconvienent to business people because it all happens NOW... if the market requires this change to my product's positionning, I will take action now as required and will deal with whoever my team, my staff is at this time....

Therefore facilitators learn to handle people and tasks not as sets of challenge, but as one challenge... and therefore one opportunity... The opportunity is to make things work... which is what integrity is about. The conditions to face and ripe the opportunity is to tackel and address the conditions of integrity:

- 100% responsibility and keeping one's agreements in this context
- commitment to effective communication: emotional literacy, authentic speaking, resonant listening,
- commitment to trust and openness - especially openness to failure and mistakes

Among these 3 points, the easiest to achieve is the last: building trust and openess... It is also the most pressing and the most fondamental, as it will enable effective communication and willingness to take charge and own to it.

How do we build trust and openness in our facilitation? Maybe the participants become a mirror and the situation in the classroom mirrors what happens in the office. Maybe the challenges they - the participants - are facing become a mirror to the challenge we as facilitators are facing: what if we - participants - are tired, stressed? We feel pressurized... Nobody really listen to us at work.... Every new project is followed by another one, newer, more pressing and already overshadowing the last one.... therefore real efforts and focus seems less relevant, laughable almost... Now thisd is a bleak picture of someone's view of the office... but assuming some of it at least - is real, then... would not slugginesh, demotivation, cynicism, skepticism be at least understandable from some of the staff?

In any case, isn't it all the more important for the facilitator to show that he/she - as facilitator - operates from a platform of 100% responsibility and full integrity? If it is the case, then YES, it will be crucial during the training to - at some point - stop and observe: what is happening in the room? and how does it mirror some of the challenge we are facing? First:  challenges as facilitator and trainees / participants? Second: challenges as staff and colleagues.

Facilitating and processing this reflective process will create trust and openess because it is showing
1- Willingness to learn from the facilitator and openness to the outcome of the training
2- Authenticity about the situation... dealing with the now ... facing reality rather than forcing outcome or discussions.

For the process to be succesful, it needs to be facilitated clearly and set in a context of listening and questionning: how are we functionning as a group now? describe... some keys to highlight and for participants to come up with examples could be: caring about the meeting outcome, caring about others in the meeting (this is the responsibility aspect), patterns of communication and understanding the source of it... , noticing and observing any obstacle to trust building...

Integrity - A holistic approach to integrity

I was asking Kiran Gulrajani, CEO of Co-Evolve and OIA Learning Hub: "Kiran, what are your thoughts about integrity." His answer was:

"Integrity is about 4 aspects:
1- Emotional literacy
2- Authentic speaking and deep listening
3- Keeping agreements
4- Responsibility"

In the line below, I will endeavor to shade more light on these 4 aspects. Each of them will - I am sure - generate more posts as they uncover wide area of learning, behaviors and theories...

Emotional literacy

Definition of Emotional Literacy by Steve Hein: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. For example, "I feel rejected."

(Brief info on Steve Hein: "For the past 10 years or so I have been traveling around the world. I have now been to about 60 countries. I believe I have a lot of experience to share with people. I share many of these experiences freely on my main website EQI.org. I have also been doing a lot of volunteer work, particulary with emotionally abused youth. From them I have learned a lot about emotional intellignce and emotional abuse. My writing on these subjects now is in the top 3 on Google in both areas." )

Developing your emotional literacy (by Steve Hein)

"The purpose for developing our emotional literacy is to precisely identify and communicate our feelings. When we do this we are helping nature fulfill its design for our feelings. We must know how we feel in order to be able to fill our emotional needs. And we must communicate our feelings in order to get the emotional support and understanding we need from others, as well as to show our emotional support and understanding to them."

"Also, one of the first steps to developing our emotional intelligence is to improve our emotional literacy. In other words, to improve our ability to identify our feelings by their specific names - and the more specific we can be, the better. Though the term emotional literacy is not used in theMayer Salovey model of emotional intelligence, they do say that the first branch of emotional intelligence is ...the capacity to perceive and to express feelings. They then add that Emotional intelligence cannot begin without the first branch..." Mayer and Salove have also written that the "ability to label emotions" is part of the third branch of their model (Emotional understanding)"

"In the English language we have thousands of words which describe and identify our emotions, we just don't use many of them. (I have been compiling a list of such words since 1995 and the list is now over 3,000 words.)"

"There are a lot of reasons we don't make much use of this rich vocabulary which is available to us. One is that we just aren't taught to speak using feeling words. I have found, though, that many people can identify their feelings quite well when given a little help."

"If you are interested in working on your emotional literacy, the first step is to start using simple, three word sentences such as these:

I feel sad. I feel motivated. I feel offended. I feel appreciated. I feel hurt. I feel disrespected.

This may feel strange at first, since not many people do this. But it gets easier with time, and as you find other people who you can share your true feelings with. (See also emotional honestly)"

"In my experience, sometimes just by naming a feeling, we begin to actually feel the feeling. It seems that by naming the feeling we help our mind access the emotional part of the brain where feelings are stored. This step of identifying the feeling by name is, I believe, essential to a high development of one's innate emotional processing abilities. I also believe that most of the literature on EQ and EI fails to acknowledge the importance of this and of the importance of having a rich emotional vocabulary."

What is and isn't emotional literacy

Examples of Emotional Literacy	Examples of What is NOT Emotional Literacy
I feel.... criticized unimportant disrespected bored	I feel like ....I feel that... I feel like you .... (This is a "you message" in disguise. See below)

See also "Making Predictions vs. Expressing Feelings"
Taken from: http://eqi.org/elit.htm#Definition of Emotional Literacy

Authentic Speaking and deep listening
Based on Kiran Gulrajani's work

Resonant Listening : Openness to learning	To deeply learn the vital foundational skill and attitude that can transform relationships To be able to tune into the greatness and wisdom of another person	Realizing the 3 levels of listening through practice Appreciating what interferes with good and great listening- the science and the art Discovering the subtleties and nuances of being open, receptive which can impact productivity
Authentic Speaking: Friendship with reality	To find out how to communicate from the heart and hence reach to the others heart To deal with fears and hesitation which can interfere with speaking with honesty and caring	Learning to tap into the power of truth in communication which can be transformational in personal and team effectiveness Being able to speak with confidence and clarity things which are difficult to express normally

http://www.outdoorinasia.com/sales-excellence

Keeping agreements

What comes to mind here is the work of Gay Hendricks - especially as he puts it in the "Corporate Mystics"

The lines below are inspired by G. Hendricks work and written by Marlene Neufeld

HOW TO MAKE AND KEEP AGREEMENTS

Part of the art of successful living, successful working and successful relating depends on learning how to make and keep your agreements or change agreements that aren’t working. Many relationship issues rise out of conflict about agreements.

1. See agreements as contributing to your aliveness and energy. Many of us approach agreements as something that someone else is making us do. This approach keeps us from making clear agreements and contributes to our breaking of agreements. Learn to see when an agreement is necessary and how to proactively create agreements that you want to make, how to make agreements that are important to you. When you learn that making and keeping agreements is in your own best interest and when you learn how to do so easily and successfully, you will notice your life working better.

2. Think carefully before you make an agreement. It is much easier to not make an agreement than it is to get out of one you no longer want to keep. An agreement is anything you have said you would do, or anything you have said you would not do. Typical agreements that couples need to make for their lives to run smoothly range from mundane things like “who does what” to important agreements about how they express their sexuality with people outside of their relationship.

3. Make the right agreements. Make only agreements that you believe in; agreements that you want to make and keep; agreements that your whole body/mind says “yes” to. If you don’t have your whole self behind the agreement, whether it’s your child’s baseball game or attending the annual shareholder’s meeting, why bother? Agreements that are unimportant to you, but that you make anyway, have a tendency to come back and haunt you later because some intuitive person will perceive that you are not really there, or because something will stop you from keeping them.

4. Make agreements only about things that you have control over. For example, you can’t control how you feel but you can control how you express your feelings. It’s also not helpful to agree to do something or be somewhere, if you know that you have something else planned or aren’t going to be able to do it.

5. Make it safe for yourself and others to speak freely about any facts or feelings that are relevant, as you are formulating your agreement. Share any significant facts that will impact your ability to keep the agreement. Share your feelings, specifically:

• Anxiety, fear, nervousness
• Irritation, anger, aggravation, resentment
• Discouragement, sadness, resignation
• Excitement, happiness, exhilaration.

Keep tossing your agreement back and forth until it feels right to both of you.

© Marlene Neufeld, 2005 www.marleneandbob.com

based on the work of Drs. Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks, www.hendricks.com

Responsibility

Based on Kiran Guljani's training material

The Transformational Mindset: Responsibility… Discovering the freedom to respond creatively

To enable the participants to shift from helplessness and victim mentality to a proactive and creative stance To inspire them to shift from blaming to claiming their reality by being open to learning

Learning to utilize adversity as an opportunity§         Appreciating ‘Responsibility’ and ‘Commitment’ from a very powerful place Shifting from resignation to possibility thinking Discovering the power within to shift reality

Dialogue, Stages and Components of a Dialogue Session

Dialogue is not merely a set of techniques for improving organisations, enhancing communications, building consensus, or solving problems. It is based on the principles that conception and implementation are intimately linked, with a core common meaning. During the dialogue process, people learn how to think together - not just in the sense of analyzing a shared problem or creating new pieces of shared knowledge, but in the sense of occupying a collective sensibility, in which the thoughts, emotions and resulting actions belong not to one individual, but to all of them together.

Stages of Dialogue

PHASE 1 (instability of the container): Invitation -> Conversation -> Deliberation ->

PHASE 2 (instability in the container): Discussion (to shake apart) or Suspension (to hang in front)

PHASE 3 (Inquiry in the container): 

Discussion leading to Skillful discussion (the flow of speech, logical analysis) vs Debate (to beat down) 

Suspension leading to Dialogue (the flow of meaning), 

PHASE 4 (Creativity in the container)

Dialogue leading to Metalogue (meaning moving with/among)

Components of a Dialogue Session (taken from a blog of the Alliance of Christian Development Agencies - see link below)

William Isaacs in the book The Fifth Discipline Field Book enumerates the basic components of a dialogue session and these are:

Invitation: The process begins with an invitation. When being invited, people are given a choice whether to accept it or reject it. Extending the invitation to dialogue opens up the space to for people to express feelings of discomfort, resistance or fear. Unlike in a monologue, dialogue cannot be forced into anyone. There has to be an agreement to partake or participate in the process. The challenge for every facilitator is to create a space where potential participants will feel safe from traditional structures of authority and hierarchy or any element that will inhibit their engagement in a dialogue.

Generative listening: This is the “art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow your mind’s hearing to your ears’ natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning.” This is also perhaps, what the Psalmist refers to as “applying my heart to what I have observed.”

Observing the observer: This has to do with the developing of an environment that is “quiet” enough for people to observe their own thoughts and the team’s thoughts. Once this is achieved, dialogue now becomes possible.

Suspending assumptions: Every individual possesses a lens or a framework by which he or she interprets the world around him. In any conversation or dialogue, it is inevitable for us to bring with us these assumptions. In suspending ones’ assumptions, he or she does not lay these aside but rather, these assumptions are brought forth into the collective for them to understand, consider and weigh. One must be aware of his or her assumptions and must be willing to invite others to see a new facet in this very thing that he or she is thinking or saying.

http://www.acda.org.ph/?p=264

Team Learning: a discipline that goes far beyond team building

Team learning is not team building and should not be taken on lightly... But you can focus immediatly on your organisation's chief concerns and issues....
Abstracts written by Charlotte Roberts, taken from The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, Team Learning

The discipline of team learning goes well beyond conventional "team building" skills such as creating courteous behaviors, improving communication, becoming better able to perform everyday work tasks together, or even building strong relationships. This discipline inspires more fundamental changes, with enduring application that will ripple out through the organisation.

Team learning is also the most challenging discipline - intellectually, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. The process of learning how to learn collectively is unfamiliar. It has nothing to do with the "school learning" of memorizing details to feed back in tests. It starts with self-mastery and self-knowledge, but involves looking outward to develop knowledge of, and alignment with, others on your team. Most of us have had no training in this. This discipline will lead you there. Do you have the necessary patience with yourself and others?

Members of the team should know that there will be times of frustration and perhaps embarrassment, as they develop their collective capabilities. Ideally, they should have the opportunity to chose the practice of team learning, with no penalty if they say "no" (although this may be unrealistics if the rest of the team says "yes").

CHARACTERISTICS OF A LEARNING TEAM

For a team which practices this discipline, it is helpful to have a reason to talk and learn - a situation that compels deliberation, a need to solve a problem, the collective desire to create something new, or a drive to foster new relationship with other parts of the organisation.

This first concern will become the preliminary "practice filed" for the team's development. As it gains confidence and ability, the team will move on to consider other matters.

THE TEAM FACILITATOR

The team can develop skills faster if it has an outside facilitator who is trained in techniques for building reflection and inquiry skills, as well as dialogue facilitation. Team members of unknowingly collude to misrepresent reality to each other, and cover up the ways in which they do so......

GROUND RULES FOR LEARNING

Teams need to set up their own ground rules for conversation. These may include agreements to tell the truth as each person knows it, bring relevant information immediatly to the team, or limit the time each person can speak. Teams may decide to clarify how decisions will be made and by whom, and to establish ways to safely check and challenge each other. Once the rules are set by consensus, it is important for the team to discuss how it will deal with violations. These rules are meants to help the team shape its conversations, not as an end in themselves; and they should never become so dominant that they override the team's purposes and learnings.

When results don't turn out as expected, you and the other team members will need to master the art of forgiveness. Looking for someone to blame may mean abandoning the team's learning. Forgiveness means standing with the persons who were leading the experiment at hand, and helping the team discern what forces at play contributed to the unexpected outcomes. Forgiveness also means not holding the mistake as a trump card to be used some time in the future when politics would encourage it.