Learnings in Life - Earning a living

My first day as a Swami
The first day after I was ordained in the swami order, my master said, " Do you know that to be a swami you have to beg alms?' I said, "Huh?"

He said, "The ego in you says that you exist independently of others. You have to purify this ego, and you cannot do so without becoming humble. I will send you begging to houses where the people are poor, and then you will come to know who you are." I said, "Okay."

I will never forget what happened then. I was healthy and I was waering silken garb. Can you believe it, a beggar in silk? I used to walk freely with no cares. According to yoga you should stand and walk straight - but then people are likely to think you unduly proud. I went to be alms early in the morning, and came upon a woman who was milking a cow. She was singing and milking and had an earthen pot between her knees.

I said, "Narayan Hari." [This is the name of the Lord which swamis use to announce themselves.] She was so startled that she jumped up and the pot fell and broke. I thought, "Oh, Lord."

She was so angry she started shouting. "Such a strong, healthy man begging! You are a burden to the nation and a burden to yourself! Who taught you this begging? You have money to wear a silk garment, and yet you are begging!"

I felt very small. I implored her, "Please don't call me names." She said, "This was an antique pot given to me by my mother-in-law! You parasite! Get out of my sight!" She was so attached to the pot that she went on and on.

I went back to my master. It had been his custom to ask me every day, "Have you taken your food?" I expected him to ask me that day as usual, but he didn't. The whole day I remained quiet, and so did he. He was quiet by nature all the time. In the evening I complained, "Today you did not ask me if I have taken food."

He said, "I did not, because you are a swami now."
I asked, "What do you mean by that?"
He answered, "A swami is master of himself and master of all his appetites."
I said, "So, this swami business means you will not take care of me?"
He told me, "Now you are a swami and I am a swami. What is the difference between you and me? You wanted to become a swami. Now take care of yourself. Why should you use me as a crutch?"

I became very sad and pensive and decided that I should be independant now. I said, "I promise that from this day on I will never beg alms, no matter what happens. If God wants me to live, I will live and meditate - but I will never beg alms."

He said, "If you want to stick to your promise, that's your choice. I have nothing to say.You are a swami."

With this vow I went and sat on a bank of the Ganges. People came to see me there and everybody assumed that someone else was caring for me. Many brought flowers and bowed before me, but no one brought fruit or anything to eat. For thirteen days nobody asked me whether I had eaten. I became so weak that I could hardly walk. I thought, "Why did I ever do such a silly thing as become a swami?"

After thirteen days I started weeping. I began talking to the Divine Mother. I said, "I have taken a vow to follow this path righteously, but there is not even a loaf of bread for me." Suddenly I saw a hand coming out of the water - only a hand holding a bowl filled with food. It started coming toward me, and I heard a woman's voice saying, "Here, this is for you." I took the bowl and ate. No matter how much I ate, the bowl did not empty.

I kept that bowl for three years. I used to distribute the food from it to many people and it wouldn't be exhausted. If you put sweets in it, you could not fill it. This was witnessed by thousands of people who used to come and see it. They would continue to pour milk in it, but it never overflowed.I became a slave to that bowl. People did not learn anything from me; they came just to see the miraculous bowl. My master advised, "Throw it in the Ganges." And I followed his advice.

God presents many temptations to you when you are on the path. Only when you reject all the temptations will you have arrived. When a little child weeps, what does the mother do? The mother may first give the child candy. If the child goes on crying, the mother tries several other bribes - a doll, a cookie. If the child still does not stop, then the mother picks up the child and holds her. It is some time before the mother holds the child; first she tries several other attractions. The same thing happens to us on the path of self-realization.

Begging alms is a must for a monk, but a humiliations to others. I realized that those who totally live on the grace of the Almighty receive the necessary food to eat and shelter to live. Worrying for food and shetlter is not complete faith. I will believe till the last breath of my life that God alone is my property and depending on any other thing except God will bring disaster in my life. I find my lord always walking before me providing all the things I need.

Swami Rama, Living with the Himalayan Masters